Sweet Nurse
by Jesa Christine T. Capagal
Ice creams come in different flavors: vanilla, cookies and cream, mango and chocolate to name a few. Some of us want it in cones, some have it sprinkled with mallows or topped with barquillos, and some just want it ice cold in cups dodging in with a spoon.
Among these characteristics, only few of us have discovered the “secret” that lies within the lavishing taste of an ice cream. This secret offers a hand to help you in undertakings which often misleads you to misery. This secret is the healing power of ice creams.
Yes, you’ve read it right. Ice creams can heal. It can heal your loneliness, your heartaches, or any depressing state you are in. That is the power of ice creams. Buy your favorite flavor and be creative. Add some chips or rice flakes on it. Anything you could do to keep your attention to it for awhile. After you sweat through making it then savor your own-made ice cream delight and feel good that you are alive tasting the sweet ice cream you have in your hand.
We build our own prisons. If we hold on to any distress, then we will live with it. Take a time off and enjoy an ice cream. Pause for a moment to think things through. Never let go of a word unless you really mean it. Never curse when you are mad; never promise when you are happy. For all we know, emotions are constantly changing but logically, if you set your mind to something, then that will be the end result.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Give Time to God
Give Time to God
by Pureza D. Lacuesta
Is the world turning upside down, or is there a tremor shaking all the continents, causing the earth to open and swallow everything that is good; animals, land, crops, and even people?
Accidents and crimes are no longer news. They have become so ordinary that with the coming of every new day, something is expected to happen that can divert us from our usual routine and make us shudder or shrug our shoulders.
We are still alive and we need to use all our energy, both spiritual and physical, in order to live as decent human beings. We need to identify honestly and distinctly which values are right and which are wrong. If there is much to be changed then change there must be with no loss of time. However, change cannot only be realized with brilliance of the intellect and the knowledge of principles and strategies. It can only be achieved if all of us are sincere in our decision to remove all the cobwebs in our lives as Christians, and put God first, even before the preservation of our earthly existence. God must be recognized as a Supreme Being, before Whom, all knees must bend. God must be recognized as our Creator Who owns us and Who has the liberty to give us not what we want, but what He wants. We need to pray to Him, but His decision which rests on His love and mercy, is always supreme.
As I Progress in age through the years, the purpose of God in creating me, grows visible moment by moment. I can see that I received life because I can be made an instrument in making others live too. Little by little, I can feel and understand that my life is not mine alone, but it is an area, which is open for others to see what good they can get from me.
That hungry aeta who needs to eat, must be given a share from my purse. That helpless blind woman can see me through the alms I can place in her hand. That ignorant fellow who looks helpless and lost, can find his way through my friendly attention and can regain his composure through my patient treatment of him.
God is visible if we use the sight of our heart. Christianity is not difficult to practice if we meditate on the seven swords which pierced the Heart of Mary – as soon as we awake to the dawn of a new day.
Give time to God. Give time to Mama Mary and Jesus in His Divine Mercy will also give time to us.
by Pureza D. Lacuesta
Is the world turning upside down, or is there a tremor shaking all the continents, causing the earth to open and swallow everything that is good; animals, land, crops, and even people?
Accidents and crimes are no longer news. They have become so ordinary that with the coming of every new day, something is expected to happen that can divert us from our usual routine and make us shudder or shrug our shoulders.
We are still alive and we need to use all our energy, both spiritual and physical, in order to live as decent human beings. We need to identify honestly and distinctly which values are right and which are wrong. If there is much to be changed then change there must be with no loss of time. However, change cannot only be realized with brilliance of the intellect and the knowledge of principles and strategies. It can only be achieved if all of us are sincere in our decision to remove all the cobwebs in our lives as Christians, and put God first, even before the preservation of our earthly existence. God must be recognized as a Supreme Being, before Whom, all knees must bend. God must be recognized as our Creator Who owns us and Who has the liberty to give us not what we want, but what He wants. We need to pray to Him, but His decision which rests on His love and mercy, is always supreme.
As I Progress in age through the years, the purpose of God in creating me, grows visible moment by moment. I can see that I received life because I can be made an instrument in making others live too. Little by little, I can feel and understand that my life is not mine alone, but it is an area, which is open for others to see what good they can get from me.
That hungry aeta who needs to eat, must be given a share from my purse. That helpless blind woman can see me through the alms I can place in her hand. That ignorant fellow who looks helpless and lost, can find his way through my friendly attention and can regain his composure through my patient treatment of him.
God is visible if we use the sight of our heart. Christianity is not difficult to practice if we meditate on the seven swords which pierced the Heart of Mary – as soon as we awake to the dawn of a new day.
Give time to God. Give time to Mama Mary and Jesus in His Divine Mercy will also give time to us.
St. Polycarp
St. Polycarp
How would you feel having heard first hand information from a person who had been with Jesus, who had walked with Jesus, seen Him and touched Him. Polycarp became part of these historical events through St. John the Evangelist. He was a bishop of Smyrna (modern Izmir, Turkey), disciple of St. John the Apostle and friend of St. Ignatius of Antioch who was a revered Christian leader during the first half of the second century.
With the apostles gone, heresies sprang up pretending to be the true teaching. Persecution was strong, and controversies arose over how to celebrate liturgy that Jesus never laid down rules for.
Polycarp, as a holy man and bishop of Smyrna, found there was only one answer -- to be true to the life of Jesus and imitate that life. Saint Ignatius of Antioch told Polycarp, "Your mind is grounded in God as on an immovable rock."
When faced with heresy, he showed the "candid face" and imitated Jesus' response to the Pharisees. Marcion, the leader of the Marcionites who followed a dualistic heresy, confronted Polycarp and demanded respect by saying, "Recognize us, Polycarp." Polycarp responded, "I recognize you, yes, I recognize the son of Satan."
St. Ignatius, on his way to Rome to be martyred, visited Polycarp at Smyrna, and later at Troas wrote him a personal letter. The Asia Minor Churches recognized Polycarp’s leadership by choosing him as a representative to discuss with Pope Anicetus the date of the Easter celebration in Rome—quite a controversy in the early Church. One day, during a bloody martyrdom when Christians were attacked by wild animals in the arena, the crowd became so mad that they demanded more blood by crying, "Down with the atheists; let Polycarp be found." (They considered Christians "atheists" because they didn't believe in their pantheon of gods.) Since Polycarp was not only known as a leader but as someone holy "even before his grey hair appeared", this was a horrible demand. Polycarp was calm but others persuaded him to leave the city. He spent his time in prayer for people he knew and for the Church. During his prayer he saw a vision of his pillow turned to fire and announced to his friends that the dream meant he would be burned alive. Later he was caught.
As he entered the arena, the crowd cheered and roared like animals. Those around Polycarp heard a voice from heaven above the crowd, "Be brave, Polycarp, and act like a man."
The proconsul begged the eighty-six-year-old bishop to give in because of his age. Say, 'Away with the atheists'. Polycarp calmly turned to face the crowd, looked straight at them, and said, "Away with the atheists." The proconsul continued to plead with him. When he asked Polycarp to swear by Caesar to save himself, Polycarp answered, "If you imagine that I will swear by Caesar, you do not know who I am. Let me tell you plainly, I am a Christian." Finally, when all else failed the proconsul reminded Polycarp that he would be thrown to the wild animals unless he changed his mind. Polycarp answered, "Change of mind from better to worse is not a change allowed to us."
When he was tied up to be burned, Polycarp prayed, "Lord God Almighty, Father of your beloved and blessed Son Jesus Christ, through whom we have received knowledge of you, God of angels and powers, of the whole creation and of the whole race of the righteous who live in your sight, I bless you, for having made me worthy of this day and hour, I bless you, because I may have a part, along with the martyrs, in the chalice of your Christ, to resurrection in eternal life, resurrection both of soul and body in the incorruptibility of the Holy Spirit. May I be received today, as a rich and acceptable sacrifice, among those who are in you presence, as you have prepared and foretold and fulfilled, God who is faithful and true. For this and for all benefits I praise you, I bless you, I glorify you, through the eternal and heavenly High Priest, Jesus Christ, your beloved Son, through whom be to you with him and the Holy Spirit glory, now and for all the ages to come. Amen."
The fire was lit as Polycarp said Amen and then the eyewitnesses who reported said they saw a miracle. The fire burst up in an arch around Polycarp, the flames surrounding him like sails, and instead of being burned he seemed to glow like bread baking, or gold being melted in a furnace. When the captors saw he wasn't being burned, they stabbed him. The blood that flowed put the fire out. The flames did not harm him and he was finally killed by a dagger. The centurion ordered the saint’s body burned. The “Acts” of Polycarp’s martyrdom are the earliest preserved, fully reliable account of a Christian martyr’s death. He died in 156 at the age of 86.
Reflection: I had faced so many trials in life. Upon reading St. Polycarp’s life, I was inspired by his holiness and strong mind grounded in God. Belonging to a Christian community I invite you to pray his prayer for martyrdom daily to strengthen our faith. This prayer includes the true doctrine of the church we must learn by heart. (See the above prayer .) St. Polycarp help us to be close to Jesus Christ whom we felt seemed so far away from us. Inspire us, so that he will be close to us, and be near us by imitating His Life as you did.
How would you feel having heard first hand information from a person who had been with Jesus, who had walked with Jesus, seen Him and touched Him. Polycarp became part of these historical events through St. John the Evangelist. He was a bishop of Smyrna (modern Izmir, Turkey), disciple of St. John the Apostle and friend of St. Ignatius of Antioch who was a revered Christian leader during the first half of the second century.
With the apostles gone, heresies sprang up pretending to be the true teaching. Persecution was strong, and controversies arose over how to celebrate liturgy that Jesus never laid down rules for.
Polycarp, as a holy man and bishop of Smyrna, found there was only one answer -- to be true to the life of Jesus and imitate that life. Saint Ignatius of Antioch told Polycarp, "Your mind is grounded in God as on an immovable rock."
When faced with heresy, he showed the "candid face" and imitated Jesus' response to the Pharisees. Marcion, the leader of the Marcionites who followed a dualistic heresy, confronted Polycarp and demanded respect by saying, "Recognize us, Polycarp." Polycarp responded, "I recognize you, yes, I recognize the son of Satan."
St. Ignatius, on his way to Rome to be martyred, visited Polycarp at Smyrna, and later at Troas wrote him a personal letter. The Asia Minor Churches recognized Polycarp’s leadership by choosing him as a representative to discuss with Pope Anicetus the date of the Easter celebration in Rome—quite a controversy in the early Church. One day, during a bloody martyrdom when Christians were attacked by wild animals in the arena, the crowd became so mad that they demanded more blood by crying, "Down with the atheists; let Polycarp be found." (They considered Christians "atheists" because they didn't believe in their pantheon of gods.) Since Polycarp was not only known as a leader but as someone holy "even before his grey hair appeared", this was a horrible demand. Polycarp was calm but others persuaded him to leave the city. He spent his time in prayer for people he knew and for the Church. During his prayer he saw a vision of his pillow turned to fire and announced to his friends that the dream meant he would be burned alive. Later he was caught.
As he entered the arena, the crowd cheered and roared like animals. Those around Polycarp heard a voice from heaven above the crowd, "Be brave, Polycarp, and act like a man."
The proconsul begged the eighty-six-year-old bishop to give in because of his age. Say, 'Away with the atheists'. Polycarp calmly turned to face the crowd, looked straight at them, and said, "Away with the atheists." The proconsul continued to plead with him. When he asked Polycarp to swear by Caesar to save himself, Polycarp answered, "If you imagine that I will swear by Caesar, you do not know who I am. Let me tell you plainly, I am a Christian." Finally, when all else failed the proconsul reminded Polycarp that he would be thrown to the wild animals unless he changed his mind. Polycarp answered, "Change of mind from better to worse is not a change allowed to us."
When he was tied up to be burned, Polycarp prayed, "Lord God Almighty, Father of your beloved and blessed Son Jesus Christ, through whom we have received knowledge of you, God of angels and powers, of the whole creation and of the whole race of the righteous who live in your sight, I bless you, for having made me worthy of this day and hour, I bless you, because I may have a part, along with the martyrs, in the chalice of your Christ, to resurrection in eternal life, resurrection both of soul and body in the incorruptibility of the Holy Spirit. May I be received today, as a rich and acceptable sacrifice, among those who are in you presence, as you have prepared and foretold and fulfilled, God who is faithful and true. For this and for all benefits I praise you, I bless you, I glorify you, through the eternal and heavenly High Priest, Jesus Christ, your beloved Son, through whom be to you with him and the Holy Spirit glory, now and for all the ages to come. Amen."
The fire was lit as Polycarp said Amen and then the eyewitnesses who reported said they saw a miracle. The fire burst up in an arch around Polycarp, the flames surrounding him like sails, and instead of being burned he seemed to glow like bread baking, or gold being melted in a furnace. When the captors saw he wasn't being burned, they stabbed him. The blood that flowed put the fire out. The flames did not harm him and he was finally killed by a dagger. The centurion ordered the saint’s body burned. The “Acts” of Polycarp’s martyrdom are the earliest preserved, fully reliable account of a Christian martyr’s death. He died in 156 at the age of 86.
Reflection: I had faced so many trials in life. Upon reading St. Polycarp’s life, I was inspired by his holiness and strong mind grounded in God. Belonging to a Christian community I invite you to pray his prayer for martyrdom daily to strengthen our faith. This prayer includes the true doctrine of the church we must learn by heart. (See the above prayer .) St. Polycarp help us to be close to Jesus Christ whom we felt seemed so far away from us. Inspire us, so that he will be close to us, and be near us by imitating His Life as you did.
Can healing take place?
Can healing take place?
by Fe Marina Siacon
A helpful friend? To what category? Can a friend heal our wounds? Can they be trusted? In any relationship, either between a doctor and patient or among friends the value of trust must prevail. “Any relationship in fact, has to be anchored in trust if it were to prosper,” says Doc Bing. Yes, healing is anchored with trust, but once you do something which is contrary to trust, trust is lost. On the other hand once you respect one’s person or property, then you will be trusted. The value of respect here refers to not touching anything which does not belong to your jurisdiction or to you. These two values are interrelated. Some friends are willing to do extra efforts to help. Some are very much willing to help however it would be wise thing first to wait for the right moment. That person might get hurt because he might think you are intervening in his life, respect him as a person for this help might be mistakenly taken as an insult to his being.
The intention might be good. But it could have been in proper perspective and in the right time with respect. The act done without the presence or confirmation of somebody is act done in the wrong place and in the wrong time by the wrong person. Trust would be lost and healing or forgiving would be far beyond reach. The wound will take time to heal but the scar remains, however scarred people are beautiful.
If ever I am doing my work I do it in the best of what I can do, with great effort, and responsibly conscious of the time quality that I spent with it. Time as in number of seconds, minutes, or hours spent as in legal eight hours? No, it’s not. It’s the value of time taken seriously and responsibly. I know time is precious. I can be in the office eight hours a day, but if I spend most of it in a nonsense tete-a-tete, that’s another point. So whatever things I do, (in the office or at home) I do it with seriousness and I trust no one will ever touch it. I feel confident.
A friend is a privilege. We have to appreciate them with respect. In the Church, Jesus provides us with many friends with faith. Brothers and sisters ready to assist and serve us in time of need. Gets involve in the barangay or small community and in the local church. Jesus has so many friends also. Even those who hurt him, He still considered them a friend, because he said, “love your enemy”. Of course, humanly speaking, it is hard to love someone whom you have lost confidence with. That is why I still would like to instill in one’s heart the value of respect. With this in our hearts we will be able to nurture our network of friends with trust, with confidence, with faith and share these values with one another. Once all these are in one, love springs out.
Perhaps then healing will take place though it may take some time.
by Fe Marina Siacon
A helpful friend? To what category? Can a friend heal our wounds? Can they be trusted? In any relationship, either between a doctor and patient or among friends the value of trust must prevail. “Any relationship in fact, has to be anchored in trust if it were to prosper,” says Doc Bing. Yes, healing is anchored with trust, but once you do something which is contrary to trust, trust is lost. On the other hand once you respect one’s person or property, then you will be trusted. The value of respect here refers to not touching anything which does not belong to your jurisdiction or to you. These two values are interrelated. Some friends are willing to do extra efforts to help. Some are very much willing to help however it would be wise thing first to wait for the right moment. That person might get hurt because he might think you are intervening in his life, respect him as a person for this help might be mistakenly taken as an insult to his being.
The intention might be good. But it could have been in proper perspective and in the right time with respect. The act done without the presence or confirmation of somebody is act done in the wrong place and in the wrong time by the wrong person. Trust would be lost and healing or forgiving would be far beyond reach. The wound will take time to heal but the scar remains, however scarred people are beautiful.
If ever I am doing my work I do it in the best of what I can do, with great effort, and responsibly conscious of the time quality that I spent with it. Time as in number of seconds, minutes, or hours spent as in legal eight hours? No, it’s not. It’s the value of time taken seriously and responsibly. I know time is precious. I can be in the office eight hours a day, but if I spend most of it in a nonsense tete-a-tete, that’s another point. So whatever things I do, (in the office or at home) I do it with seriousness and I trust no one will ever touch it. I feel confident.
A friend is a privilege. We have to appreciate them with respect. In the Church, Jesus provides us with many friends with faith. Brothers and sisters ready to assist and serve us in time of need. Gets involve in the barangay or small community and in the local church. Jesus has so many friends also. Even those who hurt him, He still considered them a friend, because he said, “love your enemy”. Of course, humanly speaking, it is hard to love someone whom you have lost confidence with. That is why I still would like to instill in one’s heart the value of respect. With this in our hearts we will be able to nurture our network of friends with trust, with confidence, with faith and share these values with one another. Once all these are in one, love springs out.
Perhaps then healing will take place though it may take some time.
Healing Vibrations
Healing Vibrations
by Ma. Rosario L. Rote-Tejada, MD
It was during my actual clinical exposure that I really felt the life I am into. The feeling it gave me was that of awe-full gratitude and pride - gratitude to God for calling me into this vocation and to my parents, elders and teachers, who have patiently and generously molded me to who and what I am now; pride – for being God’s partner in the ministry of healing.
The first patients I can never forget are those who are critically and terminally ill. They have proven time and again, that if God calls a person to return to Him, man, though how rich or poor he may be, cannot do anything to refuse His call. The moment of death is an opportunity for us, the living, to ask the dying person, especially if he is a person of goodwill, to intercede for us in our efforts in achieving a very important wish. For me then, it was to pass the board exams. Of course, it was a wish granted! It was not simply their work; it was coupled with my hard work, too. Here, I saw the living and the dying in a partnership while their Creator sits back and looks at them, encouraging the good in each one dominate.
Immersion and empathy with my patients are important. It was so hard for me to reach out if I cannot understand them. This I realized when I had my first job at the Altavas District Hospital in Aklan. Akænon dialect was Greek to me. The place was so silently noisy because of the aloneness I felt within. Lucky for me, there was an Ilongga aid who acted as my interpreter. After about a month, I can already understand them though I cannot speak their dialect correctly. The two years I spent with them were memories I will always treasure.
The years of my residency training taught me how to deal not only with children’s illnesses, but also to let them speak for themselves. I also learned how to deal with their parents and most of all their more panicky grandparents.
Children always fear pain. The white gown is always equated with the pointed needle for injection. I appeal to you, Dear Parents, please do not equate us doctors, especially pediatricians, with injections. Don’t make them think we’ll get angry if they do not keep still. That is part of their normal growth and development. They need to be free to explore their capabilities and environment. Let’s be alert and anticipate, guide them and if needed, catch them when they fall. These are teachings both for them and for us. Let the children be. For us parents, whether we like it or not, there will always come a time we have to let go of our children. They have their own lives to live as we do.
Trust and faith are essential for healing to take place. The paralytic in the Gospel did not permit himself to be dropped from the roof to be brought to Jesus’ attention if he did not trust in the people who helped him and faith in Jesus to heal him. Same is true with the doctor-patient relationship. Any relationship in fact, has to be anchored in trust if it were to prosper. Healing will be achieved if there is trust. I have always felt this. Healing receptors from both patient and doctor will be opened and recovery takes place as healing vibrations are conveyed and absorbed.
With all these, I clothe my prescriptions with a prayer whispered to God to make my hands and judgment channels of His caring touch and wisdom to manage His love and care for children.
We are all God’s children and He cares for us deeply. He knows and wants only the best for us. We trust and pray for Him to heal us - our persons, our families, our communities, our country, our world. Amen.
by Ma. Rosario L. Rote-Tejada, MD
It was during my actual clinical exposure that I really felt the life I am into. The feeling it gave me was that of awe-full gratitude and pride - gratitude to God for calling me into this vocation and to my parents, elders and teachers, who have patiently and generously molded me to who and what I am now; pride – for being God’s partner in the ministry of healing.
The first patients I can never forget are those who are critically and terminally ill. They have proven time and again, that if God calls a person to return to Him, man, though how rich or poor he may be, cannot do anything to refuse His call. The moment of death is an opportunity for us, the living, to ask the dying person, especially if he is a person of goodwill, to intercede for us in our efforts in achieving a very important wish. For me then, it was to pass the board exams. Of course, it was a wish granted! It was not simply their work; it was coupled with my hard work, too. Here, I saw the living and the dying in a partnership while their Creator sits back and looks at them, encouraging the good in each one dominate.
Immersion and empathy with my patients are important. It was so hard for me to reach out if I cannot understand them. This I realized when I had my first job at the Altavas District Hospital in Aklan. Akænon dialect was Greek to me. The place was so silently noisy because of the aloneness I felt within. Lucky for me, there was an Ilongga aid who acted as my interpreter. After about a month, I can already understand them though I cannot speak their dialect correctly. The two years I spent with them were memories I will always treasure.
The years of my residency training taught me how to deal not only with children’s illnesses, but also to let them speak for themselves. I also learned how to deal with their parents and most of all their more panicky grandparents.
Children always fear pain. The white gown is always equated with the pointed needle for injection. I appeal to you, Dear Parents, please do not equate us doctors, especially pediatricians, with injections. Don’t make them think we’ll get angry if they do not keep still. That is part of their normal growth and development. They need to be free to explore their capabilities and environment. Let’s be alert and anticipate, guide them and if needed, catch them when they fall. These are teachings both for them and for us. Let the children be. For us parents, whether we like it or not, there will always come a time we have to let go of our children. They have their own lives to live as we do.
Trust and faith are essential for healing to take place. The paralytic in the Gospel did not permit himself to be dropped from the roof to be brought to Jesus’ attention if he did not trust in the people who helped him and faith in Jesus to heal him. Same is true with the doctor-patient relationship. Any relationship in fact, has to be anchored in trust if it were to prosper. Healing will be achieved if there is trust. I have always felt this. Healing receptors from both patient and doctor will be opened and recovery takes place as healing vibrations are conveyed and absorbed.
With all these, I clothe my prescriptions with a prayer whispered to God to make my hands and judgment channels of His caring touch and wisdom to manage His love and care for children.
We are all God’s children and He cares for us deeply. He knows and wants only the best for us. We trust and pray for Him to heal us - our persons, our families, our communities, our country, our world. Amen.
Why we love?
Why we love?
by Rev. Fr. Rex Paul Arjona
It is February, which many people now calls the “love month”. This sociological itch to extend the celebration of certain events that people can’t get enough of – February 14 in this case – makes for an interesting study.
This heightened interest also provides an opportunity to reflect on the theme of love – beyond the mushiness, hopefully.
So what is love anyway?
Wikipedia, the iconic resource of knowledge of almost everything in the information age (which made our search for answers democratic, pluralistic, and, more than one cares to admit, oftentimes reliable) defines love as “any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction.”
St. Thomas Aquinas describes love as a “concupiscible passion”, i.e., a feeling evoked by being drawn to a beloved, which does not only mean a romantic interest, but also extends to things, ideals and, of course, God.
Pope Benedict XVI’s first papal encyclical is an extended discourse on the centrality of love in Christianity, Deus caritas est, “God is love”. He sought to clarify and reconcile two Greek words and ideas on love: eros, which has a possessive nature expressed in the desire of the lover to possess the beloved, and agape, self-sacrificing love, in which the lover offers himself for the good of the beloved.
For Pope Benedict, genuine Christian love does not seek to eliminate eros, which is good in itself, but to complement and complete it with agape. The best model for agape is God himself. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life” (John 3,16).
Elizabeth Barrett-Browning asked in her classic love poem, “How do I love thee?” Now, let us count some of the ways by which we love.
Love of God. The two great truths shared by Christianity, Judaism and Islam are (1) that we have only God, and (2) this God loves us. And so the most apt response for us humans is to love God back. Thus, to the question “What is the greatest commandment?”, Jesus replied, quoting the Jewish prayer Shema: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Mt. 22,37).
Fr. Pedro Arrupe, S.J. wrote the most stirring words on loving God: “Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”
Love of Neighbor. The greatest commandment is not complete without the next verse: “The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22,38).
Apart from self-love, love of neighbor is peculiarly informed by yet another virtue: justice. The compassion of love is thus extended especially to the weak and disadvantaged, and to the assurance that fairness and equality should be given to everyone. Love of neighbor is also extended to the larger community, to nations and to the rest of creation.
Among the most sublime lines written on the love of neighbor via the aspirations for national unity and freedom is Andres Bonifacio’s nationalistic paean Pag-ibig sa Tinubuang Lupa: “Áling pag-ibig pa ang hihigit kaya, sa pagkadalisay at pagkadakila, gaya ng pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa? Wala na nga, wala…”
Love of Family, Friends, Romantic Interest. There is a need to distinguish between the more universal love of neighbor and the love that governs special relationships. There are degrees to our relationship with people; some we love more than others. This is not being unfair. This reality actually refers to the very nature and logic of our being relational beings. Even God, in order to bring about universal salvation, elects first His “Chosen People”.
The virtue that informs this expression of love is fidelity. The virtue ethicist, Fr. James Keenan, SJ, describes fidelity as “the virtue that nurtures and sustains the bonds of those special relationships that we enjoy whether by blood, marriage, love, or sacrament. Fidelity requires that we treat with special care those who are closer to us.”
The drama and finality of fidelity is most profoundly expressed in the Christian marriage rite: “I take you, for my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
Love of Self or self-care is different from being selfish or self-centered. It is more than just possessing self-esteem or self-respect. Self-care is rooted in our genetic and natural predisposition for self-preservation and survival. Jesus Himself recognizes its importance when he taught about the second greatest commandment as based on one’s love for oneself. Indeed, a healthy love of self is the basis for all our loving relationships.
One of the most celebrated cases of child abuse and survival is that of David James Pelzer. His story is chronicled in the three books he wrote: A Child Called It, The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave. As a child, Dave was abused by his mother, who thought of it as a game. Among other things, he was starved, forced to drink ammonia, and was once stabbed in the chest. His teachers finally stepped in when he was 12, and he was placed in foster care. Dave Pelzer narrates in his books his struggle to trust people and engage in loving relationships, seeing himself as broken and lacking in initial experience of loving affirming relationships.
The point is without a healthy sense of self-love, it is difficult to love others in a healthy affirming way as well. I remember a saying I learned in my high school Latin classes: nemo dat quod non habet, “one cannot give what one doesn’t have”.
Why we love. So why do we love? Why do we embrace this complex beguiling and consuming emotion, sometimes with all the human energy that we can muster?
As the song says, “We are made for loving.” If God is love, and the Trinity is a communion of love, and if we are created in the image and likeness of God, then the way towards self-fulfillment and self-actualization, indeed, towards our destiny, is to love.
Rev. Fr. Rex Paul Arjona was ordained priest on December 8, 2006 and presently the Chancellor of the Diocese of Legazpi, Province of Albay.
by Rev. Fr. Rex Paul Arjona
It is February, which many people now calls the “love month”. This sociological itch to extend the celebration of certain events that people can’t get enough of – February 14 in this case – makes for an interesting study.
This heightened interest also provides an opportunity to reflect on the theme of love – beyond the mushiness, hopefully.
So what is love anyway?
Wikipedia, the iconic resource of knowledge of almost everything in the information age (which made our search for answers democratic, pluralistic, and, more than one cares to admit, oftentimes reliable) defines love as “any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection and attachment. The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure to intense interpersonal attraction.”
St. Thomas Aquinas describes love as a “concupiscible passion”, i.e., a feeling evoked by being drawn to a beloved, which does not only mean a romantic interest, but also extends to things, ideals and, of course, God.
Pope Benedict XVI’s first papal encyclical is an extended discourse on the centrality of love in Christianity, Deus caritas est, “God is love”. He sought to clarify and reconcile two Greek words and ideas on love: eros, which has a possessive nature expressed in the desire of the lover to possess the beloved, and agape, self-sacrificing love, in which the lover offers himself for the good of the beloved.
For Pope Benedict, genuine Christian love does not seek to eliminate eros, which is good in itself, but to complement and complete it with agape. The best model for agape is God himself. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life” (John 3,16).
Elizabeth Barrett-Browning asked in her classic love poem, “How do I love thee?” Now, let us count some of the ways by which we love.
Love of God. The two great truths shared by Christianity, Judaism and Islam are (1) that we have only God, and (2) this God loves us. And so the most apt response for us humans is to love God back. Thus, to the question “What is the greatest commandment?”, Jesus replied, quoting the Jewish prayer Shema: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Mt. 22,37).
Fr. Pedro Arrupe, S.J. wrote the most stirring words on loving God: “Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”
Love of Neighbor. The greatest commandment is not complete without the next verse: “The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Mt. 22,38).
Apart from self-love, love of neighbor is peculiarly informed by yet another virtue: justice. The compassion of love is thus extended especially to the weak and disadvantaged, and to the assurance that fairness and equality should be given to everyone. Love of neighbor is also extended to the larger community, to nations and to the rest of creation.
Among the most sublime lines written on the love of neighbor via the aspirations for national unity and freedom is Andres Bonifacio’s nationalistic paean Pag-ibig sa Tinubuang Lupa: “Áling pag-ibig pa ang hihigit kaya, sa pagkadalisay at pagkadakila, gaya ng pag-ibig sa tinubuang lupa? Wala na nga, wala…”
Love of Family, Friends, Romantic Interest. There is a need to distinguish between the more universal love of neighbor and the love that governs special relationships. There are degrees to our relationship with people; some we love more than others. This is not being unfair. This reality actually refers to the very nature and logic of our being relational beings. Even God, in order to bring about universal salvation, elects first His “Chosen People”.
The virtue that informs this expression of love is fidelity. The virtue ethicist, Fr. James Keenan, SJ, describes fidelity as “the virtue that nurtures and sustains the bonds of those special relationships that we enjoy whether by blood, marriage, love, or sacrament. Fidelity requires that we treat with special care those who are closer to us.”
The drama and finality of fidelity is most profoundly expressed in the Christian marriage rite: “I take you, for my wife/husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”
Love of Self or self-care is different from being selfish or self-centered. It is more than just possessing self-esteem or self-respect. Self-care is rooted in our genetic and natural predisposition for self-preservation and survival. Jesus Himself recognizes its importance when he taught about the second greatest commandment as based on one’s love for oneself. Indeed, a healthy love of self is the basis for all our loving relationships.
One of the most celebrated cases of child abuse and survival is that of David James Pelzer. His story is chronicled in the three books he wrote: A Child Called It, The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave. As a child, Dave was abused by his mother, who thought of it as a game. Among other things, he was starved, forced to drink ammonia, and was once stabbed in the chest. His teachers finally stepped in when he was 12, and he was placed in foster care. Dave Pelzer narrates in his books his struggle to trust people and engage in loving relationships, seeing himself as broken and lacking in initial experience of loving affirming relationships.
The point is without a healthy sense of self-love, it is difficult to love others in a healthy affirming way as well. I remember a saying I learned in my high school Latin classes: nemo dat quod non habet, “one cannot give what one doesn’t have”.
Why we love. So why do we love? Why do we embrace this complex beguiling and consuming emotion, sometimes with all the human energy that we can muster?
As the song says, “We are made for loving.” If God is love, and the Trinity is a communion of love, and if we are created in the image and likeness of God, then the way towards self-fulfillment and self-actualization, indeed, towards our destiny, is to love.
Rev. Fr. Rex Paul Arjona was ordained priest on December 8, 2006 and presently the Chancellor of the Diocese of Legazpi, Province of Albay.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Don’t Worship Your Emotions
AS CHRIST LIVES
by Bp. Gerardo A. Alminaza, D.D.
Don’t Worship Your Emotions
Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand, touched him, and said to him, “I do will it. Be made clean.” The leprosy left him immediately, and he was made clean (Mk 1:41-42)
For this week, I decided to share with you in toto a beautiful piece that Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI (one of my favourite author and spiritual guide) wrote on love based on the Gospel quoted above rather than quoting him or summarizing his thoughts. It will certainly challenge us to live as Christ lives. Here it is:
Don’t love only when you can feel natural sympathy. Don’t love only when you can feel good and clean about it. Don’t let your moral decisions be dictated by your emotions, even when they seem to be operating at their highest level.
What’s at issue here? Fuller maturity and what’s highest in Christian discipleship. When Jesus tells us that all the commandments can be boiled down to a single one, love, he adds a caveat: Love, as I have loved you.
How did he love? He continued to love, forgive, and give his life even when those he was loving were destroying him. That’s the challenge, but it isn’t easy. Why not?
If you were bullied as a child, laughed at, humiliated, and shamed before your friends and classmates, it isn’t easy (no matter how much you have grown and matured) to feel sympathy for the bully who, as you have learned since, was only acting out the abuse he had received from someone else, probably from his own father. It’s more natural to continue to hate him and rejoice that his later life is as laden with problems and unhappiness as were his school days.
If you are a woman who has been hit by a man, perhaps even by your own spouse, and made to feel the helplessness and humiliation of that, it is hard, emotionally impossible perhaps, to feel real empathy for the plight of men (let alone for the man who struck you) just because you now know that men are more wounded than women, that their suicide rates are infinitely higher, and that they struggle much more than women to express themselves, to give and to receive love, and to enjoy life’s simple joys.
If you have been sexually abused it is understandably impossible, at least at one level to feel compassion for pedophiles and sexual predators of any kind, even once you know that every victimizer was himself first victimized and that this wound is the cause of his deep sickness and that the stigma of that sickness is the new leprosy in our society.
And if your emotions are normal it is hard to be opposed to the death penalty when the person awaiting the sentence is unrepentant, rationalizing, hard, and is blaming everyone else for his problems. It’s easier to oppose the death penalty for someone whose heart is repentant and tearful and who wants only to make amends to the family of his victim.
But that’s the stretch! That’s precisely what we are invited to when scripture says: “Sing a new song!”
What is our old song and what is wrong with it?
Our old song is the song we naturally sing, even at our best, when we let our emotions, our natural instincts, and our bruised and needy egos dictate our sympathies. When we do this, we give out our love and empathy only when our emotions, naturally protective and wounded, allow us to, namely, whenever we can feel clean, good, and cathartic in loving and forgiving. That is why it is so difficult for us to have a consistent ethic of life within which we are as solicitous to save the life of a guilty murderer as we are to save the life of an innocent unborn child.
We struggle with this because emotion rather than our discipleship is dictating our sympathies. We are naturally loving and empathic, but in a very restricted way, namely, we give out our love and empathy only when we can feel good about it, that is, when it is clean, wanted, respected, and appreciated. We can love, forgive, and bless someone who wants to be loved, forgiven, and blessed by us, but, we find it existentially impossible to do the same when that person has hurt us, hates us, blames us, and wants us dead.
But that’s precisely what Christian discipleship and full human maturity call us to, namely, to be able to have real empathy, forgiveness, and love for those who have hurt us, humiliated us, blame us for their unhappiness, remain unrepentant, and, in essence, curse us.
A couple of years ago, when all the negative publicity about sexual abuse among clergy was at high fever, a very sincere, good-hearted, Catholic man said to me: “I’ll never give another penny to the Catholic Church! I will not have any of my money supporting a pedophile!”
That’s nature speaking, but it’s a long way from the love and understanding that Jesus preached. In essence, what this sincere man is doing is worshipping his emotions by saying: “I can give my love and support when I can feel good about it, but I can’t give my love and support when I can’t feel good about it, no matter that a pedophile suffers from the most unglamorous of all diseases.”
But love calls us to more than that and, in order to get to that higher level, we must stop worshipping our emotions.
by Bp. Gerardo A. Alminaza, D.D.
Don’t Worship Your Emotions
Moved with pity, he stretched out his hand, touched him, and said to him, “I do will it. Be made clean.” The leprosy left him immediately, and he was made clean (Mk 1:41-42)
For this week, I decided to share with you in toto a beautiful piece that Fr. Ron Rolheiser, OMI (one of my favourite author and spiritual guide) wrote on love based on the Gospel quoted above rather than quoting him or summarizing his thoughts. It will certainly challenge us to live as Christ lives. Here it is:
Don’t love only when you can feel natural sympathy. Don’t love only when you can feel good and clean about it. Don’t let your moral decisions be dictated by your emotions, even when they seem to be operating at their highest level.
What’s at issue here? Fuller maturity and what’s highest in Christian discipleship. When Jesus tells us that all the commandments can be boiled down to a single one, love, he adds a caveat: Love, as I have loved you.
How did he love? He continued to love, forgive, and give his life even when those he was loving were destroying him. That’s the challenge, but it isn’t easy. Why not?
If you were bullied as a child, laughed at, humiliated, and shamed before your friends and classmates, it isn’t easy (no matter how much you have grown and matured) to feel sympathy for the bully who, as you have learned since, was only acting out the abuse he had received from someone else, probably from his own father. It’s more natural to continue to hate him and rejoice that his later life is as laden with problems and unhappiness as were his school days.
If you are a woman who has been hit by a man, perhaps even by your own spouse, and made to feel the helplessness and humiliation of that, it is hard, emotionally impossible perhaps, to feel real empathy for the plight of men (let alone for the man who struck you) just because you now know that men are more wounded than women, that their suicide rates are infinitely higher, and that they struggle much more than women to express themselves, to give and to receive love, and to enjoy life’s simple joys.
If you have been sexually abused it is understandably impossible, at least at one level to feel compassion for pedophiles and sexual predators of any kind, even once you know that every victimizer was himself first victimized and that this wound is the cause of his deep sickness and that the stigma of that sickness is the new leprosy in our society.
And if your emotions are normal it is hard to be opposed to the death penalty when the person awaiting the sentence is unrepentant, rationalizing, hard, and is blaming everyone else for his problems. It’s easier to oppose the death penalty for someone whose heart is repentant and tearful and who wants only to make amends to the family of his victim.
But that’s the stretch! That’s precisely what we are invited to when scripture says: “Sing a new song!”
What is our old song and what is wrong with it?
Our old song is the song we naturally sing, even at our best, when we let our emotions, our natural instincts, and our bruised and needy egos dictate our sympathies. When we do this, we give out our love and empathy only when our emotions, naturally protective and wounded, allow us to, namely, whenever we can feel clean, good, and cathartic in loving and forgiving. That is why it is so difficult for us to have a consistent ethic of life within which we are as solicitous to save the life of a guilty murderer as we are to save the life of an innocent unborn child.
We struggle with this because emotion rather than our discipleship is dictating our sympathies. We are naturally loving and empathic, but in a very restricted way, namely, we give out our love and empathy only when we can feel good about it, that is, when it is clean, wanted, respected, and appreciated. We can love, forgive, and bless someone who wants to be loved, forgiven, and blessed by us, but, we find it existentially impossible to do the same when that person has hurt us, hates us, blames us, and wants us dead.
But that’s precisely what Christian discipleship and full human maturity call us to, namely, to be able to have real empathy, forgiveness, and love for those who have hurt us, humiliated us, blame us for their unhappiness, remain unrepentant, and, in essence, curse us.
A couple of years ago, when all the negative publicity about sexual abuse among clergy was at high fever, a very sincere, good-hearted, Catholic man said to me: “I’ll never give another penny to the Catholic Church! I will not have any of my money supporting a pedophile!”
That’s nature speaking, but it’s a long way from the love and understanding that Jesus preached. In essence, what this sincere man is doing is worshipping his emotions by saying: “I can give my love and support when I can feel good about it, but I can’t give my love and support when I can’t feel good about it, no matter that a pedophile suffers from the most unglamorous of all diseases.”
But love calls us to more than that and, in order to get to that higher level, we must stop worshipping our emotions.
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